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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26282293">If You Wanna Scream My Name</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graymuse42/pseuds/Graymuse42'>Graymuse42</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Flash (TV 2014)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Bottom Cisco Ramon, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Dirty Talk, Dubious Consent, Enemies With Benefits, Identity Porn, Light Bondage, M/M, Porn With Plot, Post-Season/Series 01, Rape, Rape Recovery, Rimming, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Top Leonard Snart, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:01:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26282293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graymuse42/pseuds/Graymuse42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In an attempt at dealing with all of the trauma left by Eobard Thawne, Cisco goes looking for a way to escape. Namely, Captain Cold. </p><p>Aka, an enemies with benefits story where they both have sex instead of dealing with their issues until they can't ignore the problems anymore.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cisco Ramon/Leonard Snart, Cisco Ramon/Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello everyone! First time writing sex, so please go easy on me, though let me know if there's something you think I can improve. Also if you think there's any tags I need to add, I'll be adding tags as I go! <br/>The rape/non con tag is not about ColdVibe, though they do start out on the dubious side of consent. Please, be careful reading or just don't read if this is a trigger for you! Stay safe!</p><p>(Work Title is from 'Fuck Away the Pain' by Divide the Day, and I think that song is almost perfect for the premise of this fic)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the dust settles, there’s only two things Cisco genuinely cares about in this world. His gadgets, and his friends. And he’d just given both up to save a brother who’d emotionally abused him his entire childhood. What did that say about him?</p><p>He didn’t have time to think about this however, as Mick was hauling him up off the floor, his brother already in the van. Either they were taking them to a hospital for treatment or…</p><p>Or Barry might be searching for a corpse.</p><p>Before Mick could finish dragging him out the door however, Cold held up his hand, stopping him. “I know you’re going to go right back to them as soon as you’ve admitted your brother, so to be clear: We’ll be long gone from this house before he has a chance to come racing in, so don’t bother checking it. Just thought I’d save you some time.” He was done talking, but he still hadn’t put down his hand. He was still blocking them.</p><p>“What is it, Dante needs treatment, why are you stopping us? You have everything you want from me.”</p><p>Cold looked thoughtful for a moment. “Not everything;” and before Cisco could process what was happening Cold had grabbed him by the chin and yanked him into a kiss.</p><p>It was deep and possessive, and everything that usually thrilled him but right now it just scared him. He whimpered, tugging uselessly to pull out of Cold’s grip. Cold just tightened his grip, licking at Cisco’s lips.</p><p>When Cold pulled back, Cisco couldn’t force any words out, he just stared up at him.</p><p>“I could do so much to you… make you scream and beg… make you forget your own name. But I doubt we have the time for anything like that. Till next time Cisco.”</p><p> </p><p>Music blared around him as he stepped into the bar, heading to the counter and ordering a drink. From how Barry had described it, he’d expected it to be less… clean. It wasn’t as if auditors checked up on criminal dive bars. Then again, maybe they did. He wouldn’t know.</p><p>He didn’t really care what the drink was, it was just a way to get some alcohol in his system before he did this. Downing it, he nodded for another one.  Why was he doing this again? Because Ronnie was dead? Because Barry had been pushing them out more and more the last few weeks since it happened? Because he still couldn’t get the image of Harrison Wells’ hand shredding-</p><p>He downed the next drink just as quickly, shaking those thoughts from his mind. This wasn’t why he was here.</p><p>Someone sat down on the stool next to him, and he barely had to glance over to know who it was.</p><p>“What are you doing here, kid?” If the blue parka hadn’t been enough, Cisco was certain he’d never get the sound of Captain Cold’s voice out of his head.</p><p>“Making bad life decisions.”</p><p>“Clearly. But why are you doing it on my side of town?”</p><p>Cisco just glared. “You don’t get to make judgement calls.”</p><p>“Not judging. Just wondering if I’m about to have a very pissed off speedster to deal with.”</p><p>“Barry doesn’t know I’m here.” The wobble in his voice didn’t go unnoticed by Snart, he was sure of it. “And I’m not a kid. You already decided that when you kissed me. Don’t get to change your mind now.”</p><p>“Alright, you’re not a kid. But you’re still on my side of town.” Snart stood up, stepping into Cisco’s personal space. “You remember what I said last time? And you just confirmed for me that Barry has no idea you’re here.” </p><p>Snart’s hand on his arm pulled him away from the counter, and he didn’t fight it. Didn’t think he could even if he wanted to, between the alcohol and Snart’s strength.</p><p>Pulling him into a back hallway, Snart crowded Cisco against the wall. Reaching his hand up, Snart tilted Cisco’s head up towards him and leaned in close. “This is a dangerous place for you to be right now. Anyone might take advantage of you.” Cisco’s breath caught, and even though he could feel the alcohol he still felt adrenaline clarify his senses. This was dumb as all hell, what had he been thinking?</p><p>But then Snart turned away. Then he was leaving, and Cisco hesitated for just another moment before calling after him “You said you could make me forget my name.” Snart stopped. He didn’t turn back towards Cisco, but he was listening. “… I need to forget.”</p><p>“Let’s make one thing clear. Whoever it is you’re using me to forget, I don’t care.” Snart turned back towards Cisco now, his usual smirk back. “But you’d better not go screaming his name when I fuck you.”</p><p>Cisco blanched. “That relationship wasn’t sexual. I just need to stop thinking.”</p><p>The next thing he knew, Snart was back in his space, crowding even closer to him than before. “Then you’ve come to the right place.”</p><p>Snart’s leg was between Cisco’s thighs, pressing against his growing dick as Snart held the side of his head, directing him into a deep kiss. It was passionate and hungry, everything it had been before, and Cisco opened his mouth, letting Snart take what he wanted.</p><p>Breaking the kiss, Snart tilted Cisco’s head, biting along his jawline and down his neck, drawing moans from him.</p><p>“Ah, Snart-”</p><p>“Len.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I’m about to fuck you, call me Len.”</p><p>Nodding, Cisco tried it out. “Len. I can do tha-aaaah” Len’s teeth scraped the nerve along his neck, and Cisco arched, being pushed back against the wall as Len continued.</p><p>“We should probably get out of here then. Your place?”</p><p>Cisco shuddered at the cold air where Len had been, trying to gather his wits about him again. “My…why not your pl- Oh.”</p><p>“Forget who you were with?” Len asked, smirking. “Or just the implications.”</p><p>“Sorry if I’m unfamiliar with Supervillain hookup culture, this isn’t exactly a normal occurrence for me.”</p><p>He stepped back against the wall, trying to make himself smaller as Len’s smirk grew more pronounced. “Well, I wouldn’t want to disappoint now would I?” In an instant Len had Cisco’s wrist in a grip that he <em>knew </em>he couldn’t break out of. “Do you want me to abscond with you? Is that what you came here for? To be stolen away?” Gulping, Cisco shook his head. “Relax, this goes as far as you want it to.”</p><p>“You’re giving me control? Really?”</p><p>“I understand why it’s hard to believe, but I can be a gentleman. So. Shall I drive? Or would you like to have control here?”</p><p> </p><p>The door to Cisco’s apartment was barely closed behind them when Len pulled Cisco against him, kissing him deeply. Cisco moaned, letting his keys drop on the table as he pulled Len’s arms around him. Len broke free, glancing down Cisco appreciatively. “You seem eager. But before we continue: are you really sure you want me to fuck you?”</p><p>“Gotta say, I didn’t expect you to be so big on consent. Given how the first kiss went,” he bit out.</p><p>“I’m still a supervillain. I just happen to have a few lines. Stealing a kiss is fine. Stealing more than that, well. Let’s just say my crew knows what happens when they cross that line.”</p><p>“Well you have my consent, so are you going to fuck me or what?”</p><p>Cisco gasped as his back hit the wall, Len licking inside his mouth in an instant. Len was a passionate kisser, taking and controlling everything. Cisco moaned, pulling at Len’s shirt before Len grabbed his wrists and held them against the wall too.</p><p>They broke the kiss only to move into the main room of the apartment, Cisco backing up till his knees bumped into his mattress.</p><p>Len took the opportunity to glance around the room, noting the tv and bed, game systems, and empty pizza boxes.</p><p>“Bed in the main room. I’d almost forgotten what having a studio apartment was like.”</p><p>“What, scoping out your next target?”</p><p>Len turned his eyes back on Cisco. “No need, I’ve already got you where I want you.”</p><p>He wasn’t gentle. Confident, measured, deliberate, yes. Gentle, no.</p><p>Len tugged Cisco’s shirt over his head, pushing him onto the mattress before climbing onto him and licking at one of his nipples, biting at it as he pinched the other with his hand. Cisco threw his head back, moaning as the senses hit him and he began to forget what had driven him to the bar to begin with.<br/>
Len continued to lick his way down Cisco’s chest to his stomach, before tugging down his waistband and pulling the jeans and underwear off Cisco’s hips and discarding them with his shirt.</p><p>Taking Cisco’s cock in his hand, Len licked the tip before swallowing him down to his base in one go. Cisco gasped, breathing stuttering as Len licked the underside of his cock. “Oh god,”</p><p>“Len will do just fine.” That damn smirk was back, but then Len was back on his cock, hollowing his cheeks and-</p><p>“Hnnnn! Oh god Len that feels so mmmph!” Cisco pulled his pillow out from behind his head, biting down on it to muffle the sounds.</p><p>Len pulled off, tugging the pillow away from Cisco. “Embarrassed?”</p><p>Cisco glared, as Len returned to hovering above his erect cock. “You’re wearing way too much clothing to be that hnnn!!” Cisco bit his lip as Len went down on him again, pulling the pillow back up but Len pulled off and grabbed it, tossing it onto the floor. “Hey, that’s not mmmmm!” He used his arm this time, biting down to stop the sounds.</p><p>Hands tugged his arms away from his mouth, pushing them into the bed by his hips. “Don’t muffle your sounds from me.”</p><p>Cisco shook his head. “My neighbors will complain,”</p><p>“Let them. Let them know exactly who you belong to right now.”</p><p>“Aaaaah! Aah, Len, aaagh!” Cisco could barely think clearly, mind spinning as Len deep throated him, tongue licking at the underside of his cock again and setting up a steady rhythm. He clenched his hands, balling the sheets up in them as Len kept going, sucking him down expertly. “Len, Len I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna,”</p><p>And Len was pulling off, smirking as he took in Cisco’s disheveled state. “Why… why did you stop?” Cisco gasped, trying to get his breath back.</p><p>“Simply put, I haven’t fucked you yet.”</p><p>“Cocky bastard.”</p><p>“That is why I’m here. But do you have your own supplies?”</p><p>Cisco nodded. “Lube and condom, nightstand, second drawer.”</p><p>“Second?”</p><p>“I have nosy relatives.”</p><p>Len was off of him for barely a moment, shedding his clothes and grabbing materials. He also grabbed the pillow from the floor while he was up, returning to the bed and dropping his items on it.</p><p>“If you wouldn’t mind,” sarcasm dripping from his voice as Cisco glared, but lifted his hips as Len slid the pillow under them. Lubed fingers teased at his entrance, and Cisco willed himself to relax as one entered. The slight discomfort was at least helping him come down from how close he had been, and Len seemed to realize this, upping it to two fingers quickly. Cisco kept breathing, relaxing his muscles as Len scissored him. “Done this before have you? I thought you said that relationship wasn’t sexual.”</p><p>The reminder of what he was doing, of who he was with, and of what he was trying to forget yanked at him, pulling him out of the headspace he was trying so hard to maintain.  He pushed himself onto his elbows, glaring. “I ought to turn you in right now you son of a bit-!!!”</p><p>Len smirked as Cisco collapsed onto his back again, gasping as the headspace pulled at him again. “Ahh, so there it is. Don’t worry, I know. You probably experimented in college or something, right?”</p><p>Cisco shook his head, clearing away the thoughts. “Nah, I’ve known since high school that I was bi. Doesn’t count as experimenting if it sticks.” He gasped as Len found his prostate again, this time using both fingers to stimulate it.</p><p>“Mmmm, I suppose as long as there’s no one in your life now, I have nothing to be jealous of,” Len commented, pulling his fingers out and reaching for the condom.</p><p>“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Cisco huffed. “This is a one-time thing.”</p><p>“Is it?” Len asked, positioning himself at Cisco’s entrance and sliding in halfway before pausing. “God you’re tight.”</p><p>Cisco sucked in air, two fingers and lube barely being enough. He hadn’t gotten a good look at Len’s size, but he was sure it must be big. It was overwhelming.</p><p>“8 inches sweetheart.” </p><p>Cisco nodded, it made sense. Len pulled back a little, pushing forward again until he was fully sheathed.</p><p>His hands found Cisco’s wrists again, pushing them down on either side of Cisco’s head as he met Cisco’s eyes. “Ready?”</p><p>Cisco nodded. “Move already, I’m ready- aaah!”</p><p>The first thrust was rough, barely prepped enough, sparks of both pain and pleasure lancing through him. Len didn’t stop, setting a fast pace that had Cisco writhing, hands clenching uselessly in Len’s grasp.</p><p>“I’ll make sure you feel this every day for the next week. Every time you even start to think about whoever hurt you, you’ll think of me instead, about me fucking you, dominating you, controlling you, owning you.” Len leaned down, kissing Cisco again as he kept going, tongues twisting until Cisco started to moan again, at which point Len started nipping at his neck even as he thrust forward.</p><p> </p><p>Cisco arched as Len found his prostate again, cock leaking furiously by this point.</p><p>“Like that do you?” Len asked, growling out the words as he fucked Cisco into the mattress. “Think I could make you cum with nothing but my cock?”</p><p>Nodding furiously, Cisco moaned at a particularly brutal thrust. “Yes, yes Len, yes!”</p><p>Len tugged Cisco’s hands up by his wrists, crossing them and holding them down above his head by one hand, using the other hand to pinch at Cisco’s nipples, irritating them again and pulling them into hardened stubs.</p><p>His thrusts became erratic and he groaned as he could feel the orgasm closing in, but he refused to let it happen just yet. Not until-</p><p>“Len, Len I’m close,” Perfect. Exactly what he’d been waiting for.</p><p>He leaned in close to Cisco’s ear, and growled out: “Then cum for me,” before biting the ear enough for it to hurt.</p><p>Cisco gasped, cuming, and Len moved his now free hand to Cisco’s cock, working him through the orgasm as he let himself cum as well. Len slowed down as Cisco neared the end of his orgasm, pulling out and letting Cisco’s wrists go.</p><p>When Cisco didn’t move a muscle, Len disposed of the condom and made his way to the bathroom, cleaning himself off before moving back to the bedroom with another wet cloth.</p><p>“Not everyone who can fuck you like that, eh Cisco?”</p><p>Cisco only barely turned his head, even as Len cleaned him up. “Don’t worry, I’ll lock the door as I leave. Just enjoy the moment.”</p><p>And if Len happened to steal a dvd from Cisco’s shelf, well… more reason for Cisco to come find him later.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't speak Spanish, but Cisco seems like the kind of person who would switch back and forth, so I decided to add it in. If I got something wrong I'm very sorry! All I had was google translate, so if you speak Spanish and I got something wrong please let me know and I'll correct it! </p><p>(I saw the request for a spanking scene, thank you so much for letting me know what you'd like me to write, this chapter doesn't really have much and I haven't been able to fit it into anything else in this fic, but I am working on a ColdVibe oneshot that has a lot more of it! I just don't know when that will be done, I'm sorry!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The dreams didn’t stay away as long as he’d hoped. He woke up that night screaming, just as he had every night for the last month. This time the memories of his heart being crushed in his chest faded quicker, being replaced by the ache in his ass and wrists. He glanced around, finding himself alone in his apartment. He’d just done that. He’d just gone to a bar to find Captain Cold and seduce him, had SUCCEEDED, and had just had mind blowing sex that he’d passed out after.</p><p>Cisco ran a hand through his hair, pushing the flyaway strands out of his face as he took in the state of his sheets. Needless to say, today would be laundry day. The lube and box of condoms had been set on the nightstand, and there were cloths in his laundry hamper. He was also reasonably clean, meaning Cold-<em>Len, you just had sex with him, call him Len, </em>had cleaned him up.</p><p>He’d just had sex with Captain Cold. And apparently passed out afterword, as he had no memory of anything after his orgasm. Well. Apparently Len hadn’t been exaggerating how good he was in bed. </p><p>It had been… nice. Not thinking about things for once. Letting go. He stood up, heading to the bathroom and looking in the mirror. He was, undoubtedly, a mess. Bruising along his neck and wrists that a few months ago he would have had to cover up. Now though?</p><p>He sighed, heading back to his bed and texting to say he’d be working from home today. Caitlin didn’t even question it, probably welcoming the chance to work alone at the labs today. He still had a few hours before the sun rose, so he could try to get some more sleep.</p><p>No matter how much sleep he might get now though, this had been a onetime thing. This wouldn’t be happening again. He wouldn’t be taking Captain Cold to bed again. No way in hell.</p><p> </p><p>One week later and he was drowning his own words with a couple shots of vodka at the same bar before he felt Len slide onto the stool next to him.</p><p>“Well well well Cisco, I thought you said it was a one time thing?”</p><p>“Fuck you,” he muttered into his glass.</p><p>“Now now, I thought you preferred me on top?”</p><p>Cisco turned to glare at Len. “You stole my copy of Pirates of the Caribbean.”</p><p>Smirking, Len turned to fully face Cisco. “Borrowed. Without permission.” He leaned in closer, so he could whisper in Cisco’s ear. “…But with every intention of giving it back.”</p><p> </p><p>Cisco gasped as Len bit down his neck, finding the old hickeys from the week before and sucking on them.</p><p>“Scared they might disappear?”  </p><p>Len laughed, “Just making sure everyone knows who you belong to.”</p><p>“Unless you’re turning hickeys into the shape of a snowflake, I don’t think that’ll-mmmph!”</p><p>Len pulled Cisco into a deep kiss, pushing him back against the wall of Cisco’s apartment. Their tongues mixed together again as Len lifted one hand to direct Cisco’s head into a better angle. They broke apart gasping, Len quick to regain his breath. He pulled back enough to hitch up Cisco’s shirt, bending down and licking a nipple before biting down hard. Cisco gasped, arching into his touch as Len held him, hand coming round to his back and holding him closer.</p><p>“More responsive than last time I see,” he muttered into Cisco’s skin as he nipped along Cisco’s chest.</p><p>“This time I know what I’m getting myself into.”</p><p>“Is that so? Then maybe I need to change things up a bit.” Len lifted Cisco, pressing him against the wall again as Cisco wrapped his legs around Len’s waist.</p><p>“I didn’t know you could do that,” he commented as Len’s fingers dug into his thighs.</p><p>“Mick’s not the only one with muscle, you know.”</p><p>“No, but he’s not the one who’s supposed to be fucking me either.” Cisco moaned as their clothed erections ground together, and Len took the opportunity to nip at Cisco’s exposed neck.</p><p>“Just to be clear before this goes further, how much control do you want me to be in tonight?”</p><p>“Why, have something in mind?”</p><p>“Always.” His response came out as a low purr, and Cisco shivered. “For tonight though, well… let’s just say I’ve been thinking about how good you looked at the mansion, with the ropes binding your hands together.”</p><p>Cisco gasped at the idea, or maybe it was Len grinding their dicks together again. “You saying you brought rope?”</p><p>“Unfortunately, no. But I did bring these.” Len pulled one hand away to lift a pair of handcuffs. They glinted in the light the moon was casting from the window, and caught Cisco’s eyes. “I mean, if you’re not interested, we don’t have to, but-”</p><p>“Do it.”</p><p>Len smirked.</p><p> </p><p>If he was being completely honest, he’d have to admit that being handcuffed to his headboard by Captain Cold was a recurring fantasy. It had dropped off the radar for a few weeks after being kidnapped, but had come back with even more material once he’d stopped checking every corner for Rogues ready to ambush him.</p><p>In real life it was even hotter.</p><p>Instead of cuffing one hand to his headboard and allowing his other hand to roam, the cuffs were threaded through the bars of his headboard, cuffing both his hands in place, arms stretched over his head.</p><p>The cuffs Len brought were better than his own too. Possibly real, unlike his.</p><p>Everything about this moment was intense. Len’s body heat fighting off the chill of the room as his arms bracketed Cisco in, the defined muscles, the <em>tattoos.</em></p><p>If Cisco weren’t a hero, he’d be doing this a lot more often.</p><p> “Are you sure that’s where your brain should be at right now?”</p><p>Cisco blinked up at him. “Oh god did I say that aloud?”</p><p>“Clearly I need to get your attention back on what’s happening right now.”</p><p>The smack to his ass was unexpected, and he gasped, a thrill running through him. “Len, what are you-”</p><p>“Just keeping you in the moment. Try to focus on me.” And Len was tugging down his jeans and boxers, lifting up Cisco’s ass and-</p><p>“Oh holy Mary madre de Dios!” he could FEEL Len grin against him as Len’s tongue rimmed him, relaxing him until it slipped inside. He gasped, shuddering at the new wave of feelings. “Son of a bitch that’s amazing, por favor no pares!”</p><p>He arched up again as Len added a finger, the cuffs clanging against the bars of his bed as Cisco writhed, feelings assaulting his senses.</p><p>Len added another finger, crooking them and scissoring as his tongue kept moving, eating Cisco out until Len added a third finger. He pulled back focused until- Cisco arched for a moment, electricity sparking through him as Len found his prostate. “I thought it was in that area,” He muttered, using three fingers to stretch Cisco for just a few more moments before he pulled back.</p><p>Cisco could hear the condom packet being opened, and a moment later Len was positioning himself at his entrance.</p><p>“You ready Cisco?”</p><p>“Fuck me, please,” Cisco begged, hands clenching in the cuffs as he prepared himself. Len thrust in and-</p><p>Stopped. Cisco glanced up, and Len smirked down at him. “I’m sorry, was this not what you wanted?”</p><p>Cisco dropped his head back onto the pillow, groaning. “God you are such a tease!” He tried to shift himself but Len grabbed his hips, holding him down. “Ugh, move already!”</p><p>“That eager, eh?” Len leaned down, chest to chest, whispering in Cisco’s ear. “I’ll give you exactly what I want to give, and you’re going to love it.”</p><p>He pulled out teasingly, moving as though he had all the time in the world. He pushed back in, slowly, as if mapping out every inch of Cisco’s body. His hands ran up and down Cisco’s chest, pinching his nipples as Len continued his slow, torturous movements.</p><p>“Come on, please, please move!”</p><p>Len leaned forward, shifting the angle of his thrusts, speeding up for just a moment before slowing down again. “It’s nice, your begging. Do it again.”</p><p>Cisco shook his head, and Len stopped moving entirely. “I can wait all night Cisco,”</p><p>Finally, Cisco muttered out, “Please move.”</p><p>Len began moving again, a quick thrust, before slowing back down again. Cisco threw his head back against the pillow, glaring up at the ceiling, before he said again louder, “Please move, Len, please.” There was a bite of sarcasm, but the quick thrusts from Len had him gasping, before Len slowed down <em>again. </em>Though Cisco thought he might be moving faster now than he had at first. “Please, Len, please fuck me, fuck me hard, please, please Len!”</p><p>Len surged up and captured his lips, setting a brutal pace as Len held his hips down. It was rough, and Cisco gasped at every other thrust as Len found his prostate and refused to leave it alone.</p><p>“Len,” he gasped out, voice shaking as he tried to get his thoughts back into order. “Len I’m getting close, Len I’m gonna cum!”</p><p>“Then cum,” Len growled  into Cisco’s ear, fingers digging even tighter into Cisco’s hips.</p><p> </p><p>He sped up, and Cisco arched his neck as he came, a scream of ecstasy on his lips.</p><p>Len kissed him, fucking him through his orgasm as he pumped Cisco’s cock, the pressure in his own body building up as he thrust faster, Cisco’s cries underneath him spurring him on.</p><p>Len grunted as he came, breathing ragged for a moment, matching with Cisco’s own irregular gasps for air.</p><p>“That… that was… intense…” he managed to pant out, slightly more coherent this time.</p><p>“You’re conscious? Last time you were passed out completely.” Len reached up, uncuffing Cisco from the bed and pocketing the cuffs.</p><p>Cisco glared at Len, who had gotten his breathing back so quickly while he still panted. “Last time it’d been over a year. Now give me back my copy of PotC.” Len smirked, pulling the dvd out of his coat pocket before pulling his clothing back on. “…I’m going to pretend you didn’t know I was gonna be at the bar.”</p><p>He got a chuckle for that. “Please, what makes you think I wouldn’t carry my prize around with me wherever I went?”</p><p>Len slipped into the hallway as Cisco threw his pillow at him. Leaning back, Cisco closed his eyes as he heard the door lock from the outside.</p><p>He should be worried. He knew he should. Cold could break back into his apartment at any time. But what would he do? Kidnap him? It would make more sense to do that when Cisco was already on his motorcycle.</p><p>His hot, sleek motorcycle, where Cisco had to wrap his arms around his muscular chest, and press himself against his back, feeling his muscles flex under all that leather-</p><p>Okay, nope, too soon to have another erection. What did he need? He needed a shower, that’s what he needed. A nice cool shower, to get rid of the sweat and the summer heat, and then he would go to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>The dreams stayed away for an extra two hours, before he shot out of bed, a scream dying on his lips.</p><p>Still. It was two hours more than he would have gotten otherwise. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he glanced around the room, glaring at the spot where his batman action figure had been at the start of the night.</p><p>That bastard.</p><p> </p><p>Star Labs was quiet still, at 10 in the morning. He missed the sound of Barry practicing on the treadmill. Of Caitlin rambling on about tests from their most recent meta, and the latest results from Ronnie and Doctor Stein.</p><p>And as much as he hated himself for it, he missed the whir of the wheelchair as it moved about. Missed the comments provided by Dr. Wells. The way he felt like he was finally getting something right.</p><p>He really hated himself for missing that.</p><p>“Hey, you doing alright Cisco? You seem out of it.”</p><p>Joe. Right, he was supposed to be working on something for the meta task force. “Yeah, I’m doing alright. Just another late night.” Joe was looking at him now, concerned. “Can’t keep the ideas asleep, am I right?” He laughed, ducking into his workroom to try and seem less suspicious.</p><p>When he was sure Joe wasn’t about to follow him, he dropped the smile. He wishes he had ideas. Every time he thought there was a new project to follow, he just kept getting pulled back to the reminders of how much everything had failed so spectacularly. The city destroyed. Barry avoiding them. And Ronnie…</p><p>Ronnie dead again. This time, permanently.</p><p>The dreams were getting bad again. Some nights he could barely sleep for an hour.</p><p>It had been 5 days since he’d gone looking for Snart again. Almost 2 weeks since the first time. And he was already considering going back. He shook himself out of that headspace, getting started on work. He needed to focus.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Cisco, are you busy?”</p><p>Cisco looked up from where he was tapping his pen against the desk, trying to think of some clever invention. “Not really, unless you can drag some spark of creativity from the dusty archives of my brain.” It had been a full day of exhaustion and working through the details, but so far nothing made any sense.</p><p>Caitlin chuckled, moving to sit in the chair next to him. “Inventor’s block, eh?”</p><p>Cisco nodded, pen still tapping a pattern, albeit quietly.</p><p> “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it. I got a job offer at Mercury Labs.”</p><p>The pen was halfway through a tap when it froze. Cisco processed the words slowly, etching out their meaning. “You’re taking it aren’t you.”</p><p>It was less of a question and more of a conclusion, but Caitlin still nodded. “I’m sorry, but there’s really not much left for us to do here, and every time there’s a noise in the hallway, I look up, expecting…” She didn’t have to say it. They were all plagued by ghosts in this building.</p><p>The least Cisco could do right now was put his aside for his friend. “Hey, no, don’t apologize, I’m happy for you. It sounds like a great opportunity, so do it! It’s not like you’re gonna stop texting me or anything, live your best life! In fact, let’s go get ice cream to celebrate.”</p><p>She smiled, grabbing her coat as Cisco pulled her out of the chair. They’d done enough that day, there was no need to keep going.</p><p>And if Cisco found himself at the same bar later that evening trying to drown those ghosts, well.</p><p>At least Len wouldn’t ask questions.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! We're gonna get a bit more plot soon, but until then enjoy these two ignoring their problems with sex!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please note: This is mildly dubious consent, Cisco is not drunk, and is about as tipsy as he usually is for a hookup, but he's had alcohol, so it's mildly dubious. </p><p>Thank you for the comments! They mean a lot to me, and I'm glad everyone else is enjoying this story as much as I am!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>How did he end up here?</p><p>He was on the dance floor at Saints and Sinners, dancing to the music in a way he’d never let Caitlin see. Despite what she might think, he had moves. He just reserved them for when he was trying to get someone’s attention. Or let go. Either way, not something he’d do around a coworker.</p><p>The music played, and he moved, hips swaying and head nodding to the beat of a song he didn’t recognize, but already knew he loved. Either that or the 3 shots of tequila he’d just downed loved it.</p><p>It had been almost a month since he’d started hooking up with Len. A month of poor life choices to ignore the nightmares that steadily got worse every time he closed his eyes.</p><p>He wasn’t drunk. His ability to stand still without the room spinning told him that. But he’d had to cut himself off from any more alcohol.  He’d still like to make it home tonight instead of passing out in a gutter.</p><p>A cool draft caught his attention, and he thought he saw someone open the back door leading into the alley.</p><p>He couldn’t care less about who’d opened the door, but the cool breeze seemed nice, so he decided to follow it.</p><p>Making his way off the dancefloor, he paused in the back hallway, sucking in a few breaths. Alright, maybe he was just a little more tipsy than usual if dancing made him this winded.</p><p>He jumped as a gloved hand covered his mouth, pulling him back into the alley.</p><p>“You’re drawing quite a bit of attention in there.”</p><p>Cisco’s fear changed to irritation, then his brain got fuzzy as Len’s free hand moved towards the front of his pants, even as Len began licking and biting at the nerve on his neck.</p><p>Cisco tried to say something around the hand, essentially ‘get this off of me’.</p><p>Len chuckled, pulling the hand that had been rubbing against Cisco’s crotch back. “Oh no, I think I like you being quiet for once. It’s a nice change of pace. Controlling the voice you seem to love using so much.”</p><p>Before Cisco could be irritated by that though, something was being pressed into his hand. He felt it in his fingers, trying to identify it. “A clicker. Since you won’t be able to tell me to stop directly, you need another way to do so.”</p><p>Cisco clasped it in his hand as Len moved back to massaging him through the fabric of his clothing, hand slipping beneath the band of his boxers to stroke his growing erection. “Do you have any idea how hot that was? Watching you dance in there, knowing that it was my attention you were after?” Cisco moaned as Len’s fingers twisted expertly. “Given the, ah, <em>public </em>nature of our current location, today’s going to have to be significantly faster than normal. Hopefully you don’t mind.” Cisco huffed through the hand covering his mouth. “I see you’re enjoying this a bit more than usual. Don’t tell me you <em>like </em>the thought of being caught.” Cisco muttered something into Len’s hand, but it wasn’t discernable. He hadn’t used the clicker though, so Len kept going. “You probably do. Probably enjoy the thought that someone could walk around that corner, drunk off their ass, and see you like this. See how utterly debauched I can make you. See you beg and moan for me, words trapped inside your mouth.” Len kept rubbing, twisting his hand and sliding it down again, precum smoothing everything over.</p><p>Cisco had stopped standing fully, leaning his body against Len for support as Len kept going, hand catching the moans and gasps that fell out of Cisco’s mouth as Len kept going, deftly pumping his hand up and down until Cisco came, head lolling back onto Len’s shoulder as Len extracted his hand, licking up the cum.</p><p>Len held him for a moment, allowing him to come back to himself before Len lifted his hand from Cisco’s mouth and spun him around, bringing his hand back down over Cisco’s mouth now that they were facing each other, and crowding Cisco against the wall. “You really are beautiful when you cum. Eyes glazed, sweat covering your body as it shakes, the tiny sounds you let out that nobody gets to hear but me. Stunning.”</p><p>Cisco was regaining his breath, smirking beneath Len’s hand. Cisco glanced down, then back up to Len’s eyes, quirking his eyebrow. “Really? I didn’t think you’d be interested in that.” Cisco rolled his eyes at Len’s statement. “Alright, fine. Still have the clicker?”</p><p>Opening his hand, Cisco twirled the clicker between his fingers before closing his palm around it again.</p><p>Len nodded approvingly, before pushing Cisco down. He had to release Cisco’s mouth in order to do so, but he wouldn’t be making any sounds any time soon.</p><p>Before Len could get to it, Cisco was already unzipping Len’s jeans, pulling them down. He mouthed the outside of Len’s briefs for a moment before sliding them down too, taking Len’s dick in his mouth and hollowing his cheeks.</p><p>Once Cisco had established a rhythm, Len took hold of Cisco’s wrists, pinning them to the wall by Cisco’s head even as Cisco continued, tongue tracing the tip of Len’s cock before tracing the veins.</p><p>Len began thrusting his hips in time with Cisco’s bobs, grunting as Cisco kept pace, deep throating him a couple of times.  Len moaned, bringing Cisco’s hands together above his head into one hand so he could run his other hand through Cisco’s hair, controlling the pace.</p><p>“Damn, I didn’t think you could possibly look better, but watching you suck down my cock,” Len groaned as he neared his climax. “You’ve got way more sides to you than even I could have guessed. You look absolutely gorgeous, taking my dick like that,” He tightened his grip on Cisco’s hair, controlling the speed of the thrusts as he got closer and closer, holding Cisco still as he came in Cisco’s mouth, and almost growling in approval as Cisco swallowed it down.</p><p>He pulled out of Cisco’s mouth, releasing his wrists and kneeling down next to Cisco after he pulled his jeans back up.</p><p>“You’re just full of surprises aren’t you,” Len managed as his orgasm faded, and he took each of Cisco’s wrists into his hands, rubbing them to make sure the circulation didn’t fail.</p><p>“Speaking of surprises, for someone who usually encourages me to make noise, that was unexpected.”</p><p>Len chuckled. “Let’s just say I like keeping you on your toes.” He let go of Cisco’s wrists again, satisfied that they were fine. “That was more intense than we usually go. Are you sure you’re alright?”</p><p>Cisco chuckled. “Intense, yes. But it was also hot.” He lifted the clicker. “This helped. I never needed it, but it was nice to know I had a way out.”</p><p>Len nodded. “I’ll always give you a way out of sex if you need it. Now, if I end up kidnapping you again, I’m not sure you’ll get out of that quite as easily,” he chuckled.</p><p>Cisco was quiet for a moment. “Would you? Would you kidnap me again?” He wasn’t meeting Len’s eyes.</p><p>There was silence between them for a moment, before Len stood up. He handed a piece of paper down towards Cisco, who took it, confused. “My phone number. So you don’t have to go dancing in bars just to get my attention.”</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure if it was a 6<sup>th</sup> sense or if his meta senses were getting stronger, but before he could even make it inside the apartment building, he knew something was wrong. Part of him wanted to turn around and try to crash at Barry’s. But he glanced at his reflection in one of the many windows lining the street, and decided whatever was inside was better than Barry asking him about his disheveled state.</p><p>Opening the door to his apartment building and seeing his brother waiting on the stairs, he immediately changed his opinion. Barry could examine Cisco’s fucking hickeys if he wanted to as long as it got him out of this.</p><p>“Dante, why are you here?” he muttered, trying to squeeze past his brother and up the stairs. Dante blocked his path, trying to pat Cisco on the shoulder.</p><p>“I came to talk! We haven’t spoken since we were kidnapped!”</p><p>Cisco glared up at him. “You’re blocking my way.”</p><p>“Oh Cisco, don’t be like that,”</p><p>Cisco ducked around Dante, bringing his keys out only to groan. Of course Len wouldn’t stop ‘stealing’ things from him just because he wasn’t in Cisco’s apartment. His keychain was missing his kingdom hearts keyblade.</p><p>He was sure if he reached into his pants pocket he’d find his old mp3 player Len had stolen last time.</p><p>Unfortunately, he’d paused inside the doorway just long enough for Dante to actually pay attention to him. A first from his brother.</p><p>“Are those hickeys??”</p><p>Cisco turned to glare at his brother. “Dante, I don’t have time for this, if you want to hang out then text me and I’ll work it into my schedule. Besides that, have a good night.” And he slammed the door shut.</p><p>He hadn’t meant to slam the door, and Dante was already pounding on it but Cisco’s instincts were thankfully that of ‘lock the door the second you get inside’.</p><p>He couldn’t remember if that was new to this year or if he’d always done that.</p><p>Dropping his keys on the counter he shrugged off his jacket and shirt, dropping onto his bed.</p><p>There were more hickeys than normal. Cisco traced their line with his hands, digging his thumb into them to feel the pain as he aggravated them. His wrists ached again too, but thankfully they weren’t bruising. Hickeys were easier to cover up. Cisco dug the paper out of his pocket and stared at it, before crumpling it up and tossing it aside. He didn’t need a piece of paper. Despite what Len had said, Cisco didn’t go looking for him specifically. He was there to forget. Whoever would help him do that. It didn’t have to be Len.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This isn't a writing style I usually use, but it made sense for where I need the story to go, so I hope you all enjoy it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>A hand reached out, shredding his heart, maniacal grin filling his vision as the pain overcame him and he screamed. </em>
</p><p>He shot up, the scream dying on his lips as his room came into focus.</p><p>1 hour of sleep. Fuck.</p><p>Running his hands through his hair he collapsed back into bed, trying to shake the images from his mind. Grabbing for his phone he winced at the artificial light glaring back at him. Still, it was better than hearing the words echoing through his head. Better than seeing the man he’d always respected murder him.</p><p>
  <em>“You’ve shown me what it’s like to have a son.” </em>
</p><p>“Yeah well fuck you too Wells,” he muttered, scanning through his apps, trying to find something to pull him out of this. A game, a news outlet, a text message, anything.</p><p>He glanced over to the crumpled paper from a few nights back. It wasn’t worth it. It really wasn’t.</p><p>Still, he didn’t stop himself from standing up, walking over to it and entering the number into his phone.</p><p>
  <em>C:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Give me the keyblade, asshole.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ice Ice: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s the strangest way anyone’s ever asked for sex. </em>
</p><p>Cisco choked at that, <em>refusing </em>to blush.</p><p>
  <em>C:</em>
</p><p><em>I couldn’t care less about the sex, that’s part of my keychain and people </em>will <em>notice that I don’t have it with me!</em></p><p>
  <em>Ice Ice: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aww, that’s cold of you. I might get my feelings hurt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>C:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh please, your heart’s as cold as ice and we both know it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ice Ice: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>By the way, that was an interesting necklace you were wearing the other day. A snowflake. Should I be flattered?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>C: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like hell, that was given to me by Caitlin. It was her last name before you stole my cold gun. She gave it to me before she left Star Labs, so we wouldn’t forget to text each other.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ice Ice: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I guess I’ll just have to live up to the name more than she does. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Len sighed, getting standing up from his chair where he’d been working on plans. He could use a distraction right about now, but more than that…</p><p>Caitlin had left Star Labs? Cisco hadn’t mentioned that. Maybe that was why he’d been at the bar more recently. He’d need to start keeping a closer eye on his personal life.</p><p>It’s not stalking if it’s a professional interest.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Barry, wait!” Cisco blocked Barry’s path physically with his body before Barry could speed off again. “Before you go patrol, I wanted to know if you wanted to celebrate Independence day with us. Joe and I’ve been talking, and we think it’d be a great time to get everyone back together, just for a day. We’ve all earned a break.”</p><p>“I… Cisco I don’t know, everything’s so crazy right now, the city still needs repairing,” Barry muttered, hand reaching back behind his head awkwardly. “I’m not sure I’ll have time,”</p><p>“Hey, that’s fine, just think about it, we’ve still got a couple weeks, just give it some thought and get back to us. I’ll check in with you about it later.”</p><p>Barry nodded, speeding off, and Cisco sat back down at the computers, keeping an eye on things. Joe patted him on the back, sitting down next to him. “He’ll come around, don’t worry. He’s just carrying around too much weight on his shoulders. As always.”</p><p> </p><p>Cisco was sure his neighbors wanted to complain by now, given the amount of noise he and Len made on a regular basis. He threw his head back against the wall moaning as Len licked and bit his way down Cisco’s chest, pinching at Cisco’s nipples before drawing them into his mouth and nipping at them.</p><p>Cisco reached out, tugging Len’s shirt up until Len had to step back and discard it. Before Len could get back to work, Cisco glared at him. Or more accurately, the necklace he was wearing.</p><p>“You stole the snowflake. Because of <em>course </em>you would.”</p><p>Len crowded Cisco back against the wall, sliding his hands along Cisco’s sides and under his waistband to start stroking his dick. “You must be really out of it to have not noticed.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, did you find out your boss was a murderer? Oh, wait, you’re a criminal, that was probably a prerequisite.” He shuddered as Len’s hand twisted and slid down his cock again, intent on getting him off.</p><p>“If you can say ‘prerequisite’ while I’m doing this then either your head’s in the wrong place or I need to up my game.”</p><p>Cisco bit back a moan as he thrust his hips up into Len’s hand. “Why can’t it be both?”</p><p>“Cheeky,” Len muttered, leaning in for a kiss.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, hey Joe,” Barry had to stop himself from bumping into his foster father in the doorway.</p><p>Cisco pretended to be busy typing things on the computer, but he was still listening.</p><p>“Barry, hey, I wanted to talk to you about coming over. You know, what with it being the 4<sup>th</sup> of July in a few weeks, I wasn’t sure if you had any plans.”</p><p>As Barry stammered out another excuse as to why he really didn’t know if he could make it, Cisco glanced down at his wrist. He was wearing a larger watch than normal to cover up the bruises. He and Len had gone harder than usual the night before. Len had rubbed the circulation back into his wrists after, but there were still marks. It helped though. Reminded him that there was something outside of this emptiness the labs had become.  </p><p>He glanced up again as he heard Barry speed out, and he tugged down his sleeves just as an extra precaution. “Still no affirmative?”</p><p>Joe shook his head. “We’ve just got to give him space. He’ll come around.”</p><p> </p><p>Cisco moaned as Len’s tongue licked at his entrance, before delving inside. His head leaned back against the pillows, and he arched his back as Len added a finger, still licking inside.</p><p>“Len, right there, don’t stop,”</p><p>Len pulled back, sliding both fingers in as he sat up, hungry eyes roaming over Cisco’s body as Cisco stared right back at him, mutually appreciating the view for a moment. Then Len’s fingers found Cisco’s prostate and he arched again, feet digging into his bed as he enjoyed the electric feeling the sex brought him.</p><p>Then Len’s hand splayed over Cisco’s heart, and for a moment he couldn’t breathe, tinges of blue threatening his vision.</p><p>“Cisco?”</p><p>He took a deep breath, closing his eyes against the vision threatening to pull him back under again.</p><p>“Move your hand,” he gasped out as the vision began to pull him under.</p><p>“Usually you say that with a little more excitement,” but there was a layer of concern to his tone. And he moved his hand away from Cisco’s heart, brushing his side gently instead.</p><p>He shuddered as the feeling of the vision faded. “God you are such a prick.” He opened his eyes though, relaxing as the blue didn’t return. “I mean if you’re here you might as well be moving that hand too,”</p><p>Len’s mouth was on Cisco’s in an instant, tongue licking in side as Len began scissoring him, drawing him back into the moment, away from the visions. And if Len was a little gentler, well. For once Cisco wouldn’t complain.</p><p> </p><p>“Professor Stein’s agreed to attend, and Iris is only working a half shift that day, so she’ll be over in time for fireworks and food. They’ve all agreed to attend.” He paced his living room floor as he talked to Caitlin over the phone. They should both be sleeping, but healthy habits weren’t this year’s theme.</p><p>“And you’re wondering why Barry can’t decide?”</p><p>“Exactly! He’s the Flash, it’s not like he can’t step aside if something <em>actually </em>comes up, but he deserves a break!”</p><p>He could practically feel the pointed gaze over the phone from Caitlin. “I know we know that, but do you think maybe he doesn’t? It’s been a hard year. With everyone who died, I’m sure he blames himself as much as we’re blaming ourselves. We just have to remember that it’s no one’s fault except Dr. Wells. He’s the one who did all of this.”</p><p>Cisco sighed, falling back onto his bed. “I know. It’s just… easier, somehow?”</p><p>“Easier to think there’s something we could have done than accept the truth that we were out of control?”</p><p>“I guess.” It really wasn’t what he meant, but he’d let Caitlin think it was. “Thanks for listening. It’s just been a hard year for everyone I guess.”</p><p>“That doesn’t mean you don’t get to feel the pain. It just means we all know what we’re each going through in our own ways. Try to get some sleep now. I’ll see you in a week.”</p><p> </p><p>Len’s hands on Cisco’s hips held him steady as he pushed himself up and down on Len’s cock until Len tightened his grip, thrusting up into Cisco. Cisco leaned down to kiss Len as they came, Cisco rolling off of Len as they both lay panting.</p><p>“That was intense,” Cisco’s breath began to calm down again, and he relaxed back into his bed.</p><p>Len nodded, leaning over and kissing Cisco deeply again before moving to Cisco’s bathroom to get a washcloth and dispose of the condom.</p><p>Cisco smiled faintly as Len helped clean him up, soaking up the aftercare.</p><p>“If only I could have you this relaxed outside the bedroom. You’d make my problems with the Flash much easier.”</p><p>Cisco glared, despite knowing Len would never actually use him against Barry. “I’d tell you to fuck off but you’d get the wrong idea.”</p><p>“What idea would that be Cisco, round two?”</p><p>“Oh, look at that, you’ve already come to the conclusion on your own.”</p><p>“That’s not all I’ve cum to,” Len chuckled, and Cisco hurled a pillow at him.</p><p>“Go on then, leave. I know you’re going to, you always do.” Cisco flopped back onto the bed, staring up at his ceiling. “…Everyone always leaves in the end.”</p><p>Len wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear that part, but he did. Closing the door behind him, he mentally added it to his growing folder of Cisco.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Joe, any sign of Barry yet?” The 4<sup>th</sup> of July meal was going well, but Cisco hadn’t caught sight of Barry.</p><p>“No, but he said he’d be here. Something about catching up on case files first?”</p><p>Cisco nodded, making small talk with Prof. Stein about the firestorm matrix, and making sure Caitlin didn’t drink herself into a stupor.</p><p>As the day progressed Iris joined, but still no Barry. Fireworks began and Cisco stared, wishing he could forget the last year. Wishing Barry would show up and try to forget with them.</p><p>After a few minutes, they all got a text on their group chat.</p><p>
  <em>Flash: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sorry I can’t make it, something’s come up and I have to deal with it. Enjoy yourselves. </em>
</p><p>Cisco checked his apps, and sighed. A house fire. Something the local fire department could handle easily, but that wouldn’t stop Barry from using any excuse to avoid them.</p><p>Cisco excused himself from the fireworks, getting into his car and thinking about the day. After everything, he hadn’t shown up. Of course he hadn’t.</p><p>He pulled out his phone, checking the messages, Barry’s words staring back at him. He scrolled down.</p><p>
  <em>Where are you? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ice Ice: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>At home. Why?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>C: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mind if I get an address? </em>
</p><p>The text came through, and Cisco plugged it into his GPS. He couldn’t deal with this right now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The switching back and forth between Len and Cold is intentional, and yes, Cisco's completely in denial. </p><p>Thank you so much for the awesome comments! They make it easier to get through the week!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This thing between them was… complicated. At least that’s what he told himself. It was complicated how he was fucking Len every week, sometimes more often. It was complicated how Len left immediately, usually stealing something small to taunt him with their next encounter. Something that would usually be left back in his apartment the next week after Len stole yet another random item.</p><p>Cisco:</p><p>
  <em>Hey, you stole the movie I was going to watch with Barry tonight, I need it back.</em>
</p><p>Ice Ice:</p><p>
  <em>If you want it back that bad, then cum and get it.</em>
</p><p>Cisco:</p><p>
  <em>Dude, I just said I need it for TONIGHT. Barry’s gonna be here in an hour!</em>
</p><p>Ice Ice:</p><p>
  <em>That’s more than enough time.</em>
</p><p>Cisco:</p><p>
  <em>I’m not a speedster! </em>
</p><p>Ice Ice:</p><p>
  <em>I’m already here.</em>
</p><p>Cisco groaned, rolling out of bed.</p><p>“I mean it, Barry’s going to be here in an hour!” Snart just smirked from the doorframe, stepping past Cisco into his apartment. “Just… give me back the movie, I’ll still be over this weekend, you don’t need to h-mmph!”</p><p>Leonard’s lips closed over Cisco’s shutting him up. A gasp left Cisco as Leonard pushed him against the door, closing it behind them. “As if I need a reason to bring you into my arms. If the time crunch is all you’re concerned about, I think we can be done before it becomes a problem.”</p><p>Len dropped to his knees, quickly working Cisco’s jeans open and pulling out his cock.</p><p>“Leonard, I’m serious, Barry will”</p><p>“What did I tell you about saying other men’s names?”</p><p>“That’s SO not what I meant,”</p><p>“I’ll be done before he shows up. Besides, he always runs late.” Cisco opened his mouth to argue but all that came out was a moan as Leonard wrapped his lips around Cisco’s cock, holding him still as he deepthroated in one go.</p><p>“God that-that feels so-” Cisco tried to get the words out but his breath hitched, arching forward until Leonard pushed his hips back against the door.</p><p>Leonard smirked up at him after sliding off, watching as Cisco gasped, face flushed.</p><p>“I love bringing you to this, incapable of forming sentences because of what I do to you.”</p><p>Cisco glared. “Just remember, when Barry finally catches you, these moments of ours mean nothing. You’re still a villain and I’ll still help him take you down.”</p><p>Leonard stood up, crowding Cisco into the door. “Is that how you want me to play it today? Want me to be the villain? Want me to tie you up and make you mine? Take what I want from you? Make you scream out my name until we’ve both cum?” Cisco stayed silent, eyes on the floor. Leonard cupped his face, almost gently, pulling Cisco’s eyes up to him. “We don’t have much time today, and you know I won’t proceed without your consent, so I’m going to need you to decide quickly. Is this what you want?”</p><p>Cisco met his eyes for another moment, silent, before nodding. “…Yes.”</p><p>Sliding the clicker into Cisco’s hand, Len smirked. “Then turn around.”</p><p>Obeying, Cisco turned around to face the door. Len pulled his hands behind him, binding his arms together with a rope Cisco hadn’t realized Len had brought with him. “Do you just go everywhere prepared for sex?”</p><p>“Who says this rope is used only for sex?” Len growled into his ear, before spinning him back around and shoving him against the door.</p><p>His arms hurt, but the pain was drowned out by his arousal at the tight ropes binding his arms together, and Cold crowding into his space. His parka was still on, cold gun on his hip. It wasn’t active, but its mere presence made the moment that much more dangerous.</p><p>That danger thrilled him in a way it probably shouldn’t, but wasn’t that what this was all about?</p><p>Cold captured his lips, pulling him into the kiss and licking until Cisco parted his lips and let Cold inside. Cisco chased as Cold pulled away, but Cold placed a hand on Cisco’s throat, holding him back. “Oh no, I’ve stolen you, remember? I get to decide what to do with you.”</p><p>And damn if that wasn’t one of the hottest things he’d ever said to Cisco.</p><p>Cisco gulped, feeling Cold’s hand against his throat, not constricting, just holding him in place. “And what are you going to do with me, Captain Cold?”</p><p>Something flashed in Cold’s eyes at the name, and Cisco could see Cold’s erection tenting the front of his jeans.</p><p>Cold shifted his hold on Cisco so that he was holding the back of Cisco’s neck, along with his bicep. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you scream my name.”</p><p>He pulled back, hauling Cisco forward so fast he nearly toppled before his legs remembered how to work.</p><p>Cold guided Cisco onto the couch, pushing him onto his back and kneeling between his legs as Cisco squirmed, trying to get comfortable despite landing on his bound hands.</p><p>“I want you to be thinking about this, about how I’m about to fuck you, as you’re sitting here tonight next to your friend.” He leaned in, bracketing Cisco in with his arms and biting against the soft skin at the base of his neck. “I want you to be too distracted to even think about the movie, want your attention to be solely on how right here, right now, I own you.”</p><p>Cisco hadn’t thought he had a thing for possessiveness, but right now he could barely think with how turned on his was.</p><p>He gasped as Cold shoved his shirt up, yanking it over Cisco’s head but leaving it bunched at his back, keeping his shoulders bound by the fabric.</p><p>Cisco blushed as Cold leaned back, gazing over him. “Look at you, so debauched.” It was true, Cisco realized, his hands were bound behind him, shirt bunched up behind his neck, jeans unzipped and cock leaking precum. And he was just lying there, panting and blushing. “Possibly the most priceless piece I’ve ever stolen.”</p><p>And just for a moment, Cisco wasn’t sure if they were still roleplaying. He said it with such sincerity, and something ached in Cisco’s heart, as he realized he wished it were true.</p><p>No, no he didn’t. This was just sex, and at the end of the day there was no way he felt <em>anything </em>for Captain Cold.</p><p>He twisted a little, trying vainly to loosen ropes around his wrists, but Cold hooked a finger through Cisco’s pant loop and hauled him up, and there was no point trying to not look turned on when his cock was still hanging out and taking very rapid interest.</p><p>“Trying to go somewhere?”</p><p>Before Cisco could reply, Cold had slid onto the seat at the end of the couch and pulled Cisco on top of him, hips hitching up and Cisco moaned, letting his forehead fall onto Len’s, enjoying the sensation.</p><p>Cold took a moment to lean up and kiss Cisco, letting his hands roam over Cisco’s body, tweaking his nipples roughly and sliding his hands further down until he found the waistband of Cisco’s jeans, sharply tugging them and the boxers down.</p><p> </p><p>“Quite the prize I’ve managed to steal,” he commented, hand running up and down Cisco’s thighs as the younger man trembled, clearly over exerting himself, but he still hadn’t used the clicker. Cold stared at Cisco, who had closed his eyes. Absolutely beautiful. He pulled the lube out of his pocket, careful of the cold gun that was now between Cisco and Cold’s legs, not quite digging into Cisco’s calf as he kneeled over Cold.  </p><p>Cold slid one lubed finger into Cisco, watching as he tensed then relaxed, allowing Cold deeper. Cold fucked Cisco with his finger, quickly upping it to two, feeling Cisco relax around him.</p><p>He slid his free hand through Cisco’s hair, gently pulling him forward till he could whisper in his ear. “How rough do you want it today?”</p><p>“I’m ready now if that’s what you’re asking.”</p><p>Len smirked, withdrawing his fingers and undoing his jeans enough to pull out his own thick cock, sliding a condom on it and positioning himself at Cisco’s entrance. Two fingers was barely going to be enough. Cisco was going to feel this for a while.</p><p>He pulled Cisco down as he thrust his hips up, biting Cisco’s shoulder as he bottomed out. They both moaned at the friction, Cold quickly setting a fast pace as he used one hand to steady Cisco on his cock, the other going back to his bound hands, holding them in one wrist. “Such a work of art, and all completely mine. Makes me wish I’d stolen you sooner.” Cisco’s dick let out another drop of precum as he moaned, and Cold tightened his grip, thrusting up particularly hard at that. “God, you like that don’t you? I wonder what would have happened if I’d never let you go that day? If I’d kept you around, stolen you away for good.” Cisco squeezed with his hips and let out a gasp, head falling against Len’s neck. “I could have you any way I wanted, any <em>time </em>I wanted. Make you feel so good even as you hated me for it. Take everything you weren’t willing to give me and more, mark you as mine so no one could ever take you away from me,” he grunted out, pace quickening.</p><p>“Cold!” Cisco gasped as Len hit his prostate, changing his angle to thrust directly into it each time.</p><p>Len let go of Cisco’s wrists and moved his hand to Cisco’s cock, tugging sharply until Cisco came, squeezing his hips together and sending Len over the edge.</p><p>They both gasped against each other, before Len gently lowered Cisco back onto the couch, undoing the ropes around wrists and sitting down on the floor, taking a wrist in his hands and gently rubbing the circulation back into them. He gently extracted the clicker from Cisco’s hand, noting that he’d never once used it. He was starting to wonder if Cisco even knew how, but he’d never seemed alarmed in a scene.</p><p>As Len rubbed his wrists, Cisco glanced over at him. “You don’t actually wish you’d kept me, do you? That you hadn’t let me go?”</p><p>Len shook his head. “It wouldn’t have been consensual then. And as exciting as a prospect it makes for a scene, I much prefer you coming to me on your own.” He reached over, tilting Cisco’s chin towards him. “You’re absolutely adorable when you beg.”</p><p>A text alert went off on Cisco’s phone, and he sighed, glaring at it. “Problems?” Len asked, gently massaging Cisco’s shoulder.</p><p>Cisco rolled his eyes at the text and set down his phone, relaxing into the touch. “Barry’s cancelled again. I think that’s the third time this month.”</p><p>Len hmmmed, thinking. “Three times? Haven’t you only made three plans with him this month?”</p><p>Cisco nodded, closing his eyes and relaxing even further into Len’s hands. “Yeah, and every time he’s cancelled last minute. I think he’s avoiding me.”</p><p>He opened his eyes quickly as Len’s grip tightened. “Well then, if he’s not going to be here at all, I can think of some other ways we could spend the time.”</p><p>The look in his eyes gave Cisco pause, and he glanced from where the rope was discarded back to Len. “Am I going to need that clicker back?”</p><p>Len chuckled, pulling Cisco in close. “Oh sweetheart, that’s practically a guarantee.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Barry,” Barry looked up, and for a moment Cisco thought he saw panic in Barry’s eyes. He’d taken the time to show up early to Star Labs in the hope of seeing Barry before he could run off again.</p><p>“Hey Cisco, what’s up?”</p><p>“Just wanted to make sure you were okay after last night.”</p><p>“Oh, right. Sorry about that, something came up. I’m fine though.” Before Cisco could get another word in, Barry glanced down at his watch. “Looks like there’s something needing done at the precinct, I’ve gotta go. Catch you later!” And he was gone.</p><p>Cisco groaned, letting his head fall back against the wall.</p><p>“Still no luck?” Joe asked when he walked into the room. Cisco hoped he hadn’t been waiting in the hallway, but it wouldn’t surprise him if he had.</p><p>“He’s just. Not. Talking! Every time I try to get him to open up, he’s deflecting, ignoring, or <em>literally </em>running away!”</p><p>Joe nodded, leaning back against the wall next to Cisco. “You know, he’s not the only one who’s shutting people out.”</p><p>Cisco glanced over. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’ve been closing yourself off for months now. It’s not as much, but I can tell you’re hiding things. You don’t have to.” Cisco opened his mouth but Joe raised a hand, cutting him off. “You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, I’m not trying to pry. But this year hasn’t been easy on anyone. If you need someone to talk to, we’re all here for you.”</p><p>Cisco nodded. “Thanks Joe. I’ll keep that in mind.</p><p> </p><p>Cisco let his head fall onto the steering wheel as he got into his car. They were right, and he knew it. Still, he didn’t want to talk to them. Talking didn’t do anything. What would he say? He was still having nightmares about being murdered? There wasn’t much to be done about that one.</p><p>He glanced at his phone, about to pull up Len’s number when he stopped himself. No. He didn’t need Cold in order to cope. He could do this on his own.</p><p>He sighed, exiting out of the text messages and pulling up GPS. He knew Len had a strong chance of being at Saints and Sinners, so he needed another bar. Something local. Maybe Barry would be there, maybe not. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t hiding from them, he just… he just wanted to feel alright. He didn’t need Cold for that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry it's such a short chapter, I'll try to get the next one finished early this week to make up for it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spending time with Lisa wasn’t something he looked forward to. It was necessary, building family bonds by hanging out together, but Mick took over cooking and Lisa hogged the TV, and Len sat on the couch pretending that criticizing romantic choices on Gilmore Girls (Lisa’s current favorite show) was time well spent.</p><p>He frowned as he felt his pocket buzz with an incoming call.</p><p>A phone call? Usually Cisco texted. He answered, just holding the phone to his ear without saying anything.</p><p>”<em>Cooooold, I know you’re there, I know you’ve picked up, the phone stopped ringing so I know you’ve ansvered. Anshevered. Shevered?” </em></p><p>Len rolled his eyes. Of course Cisco was drunk. “Are you at Saints and Sinners?” he stood up, shaking his head at Lisa’s questioning gaze before grabbing his parka off the back of the couch.</p><p>“<em>Huuuuh? Wait, no, that’s not right, I should have known I’d get the wrong number, no, not number, number’s right, what’s wrong with the-” </em>he mumbled for a minute or two before: “<em>Right! Not at Saints. Not a saint. Sooooo not a saint. Feline cauldron. Off the freeway/interstate/fast moving car place. Thing. That thing. You uh… you heard of it? I feel like you’d like cats. But there’s no cats here. No cats at all. I want cats. Do you like cats?” </em></p><p>Len was thankfully already out the door so Lisa didn’t hear him as he admitted “Yes Cisco, I like cats. I know that bar too. How much have you had to drink?”</p><p>“<em>Dunno. I had a couple shots. Of something. Then I danced, and someone handed me a drink.” </em></p><p>Crap. “Cisco stay awake, find the bartender and tell him Leo Winters is coming to pick you up. I know the owner, he’ll know it’s me, he’ll keep an eye on you till I get there.”</p><p>It took a moment for the sound to make sense, but Len realized that Cisco was huffing at him through the phone. “<em>You know all the owners. Of all the bars. Why is that?” </em></p><p>Did Len really want to explain that he’d spent most of his childhood dragging his own father home from said bars enough times to be recognized by the owners? No. “Occupational hazard. Hold on, I’m headed your way.”</p><p> </p><p>Cisco was drooling on a table by the time Len walked in, nodding to the bartender who’d been making sure Cisco was alright. Len couldn’t be sure if someone had tried to roofie Cisco, or he’d just had far too much alcohol for his own good, but one way or another Cisco shouldn’t be driving home.</p><p>“Come on, get up, we’re going.”</p><p>Cisco stared, before grinning. “Duuuuude! Why’re you here? How do you know where to find me??”</p><p>A vein throbbed in Len’s head at the horrible slurring of Cisco’s words. “How I <em>did </em>know where to find you, is that you CALLED me. Drunk. Not tipsy, completely drunk. Now come on, I’m taking you home.” He pulled Cisco out of the chair and against his side, making sure Cisco wasn’t about to fall flat on his face. “Don’t you have a resident ‘do good speedster’ to call when you need help?”</p><p>Cisco shook his head, making shaky steps towards the door. “Nahh, Bunny Bear’s got too much to worry about with avoiding me. He’s not gonna show up if I need help. Not ‘nless I’mm dying or somethin’. ‘N’ how do you know where I live anyway?”</p><p>Len just stared down at him. “Have you seriously forgotten that we sleep together? Regularly?”</p><p>Chuckling, Cisco pushed off of Len and against the door, struggling to try and open it. “Right right right right, we sleep together. You’re hot. So hot. But so mean. This door’s mean. This door is very mean.” Sighing, Len pushed the opposite side of the door where the handle was. It swung open seamlessly. “Ooooooh. That would make sense.”</p><p>Len grabbed Cisco, hauling him towards Len’s bike. “wait wait wait I drove here!”</p><p>“And you can come back and pick up your car in the morning. You don’t live that far, but there’s absolutely no way I’m letting you drive home.”</p><p>“I’m not that drunk!”</p><p>Lifting the seat of his motorcycle, Len handed Cisco his spare helmet. “You just tried to walk out the wrong side of the door.”</p><p>“I do that sober all the time!” That just earned him a glare. “<em>Fine, </em>I’ll go home with you. Your motorcycle’s fun.” He turned back to Len, glancing down. “That motorcycle’s fun too.”</p><p>“Just get on the damn bike.”</p><p> </p><p>After 3 attempts at reaching for the traffic lights as they passed and nearly falling off, they finally made it to Cisco’s apartment. Len turned around to find that Cisco was dangerously nearing a 4<sup>th</sup> attempt.</p><p>“We’re here. Get off.”</p><p>“Floaty lights….why can’t I catch light? I want to catch light. Instead I get stuck with this.” He glared down at his hands as if they’d offended him.</p><p>“I’m sure you could invent something to be able to catch light, now let’s get <em>inside.</em>”</p><p>By the time Len got Cisco’s door open, Cisco was sagging against his arms badly.</p><p>“Come on, get inside.”</p><p>“I really hate you, you know?”</p><p>Len’s heart lurched at the words, and he scowled. “Right. You hate the person who just drove you home to make sure nothing happened to you. That makes sense.” He turned to leave, but Cisco grabbed his arms, tugging at him. “What?”</p><p>“You have to stay.” He stumbled past Len to close the door, turning to face Len. “You have to stay. I hate you. We have to fight.”</p><p>Len stared at him. “…fight? You’re drunk and I could overpower you in half a second, what makes you think-”</p><p>“Nothing left for it then. Mouth to mouth combat.” And the next thing Len knew he had an armful of Cisco, pressing his lips against Len, desperately holding on to him. Len pulled back, shocked. Cisco just chuckled. “You pulled back first. I win.” He grinned, squeezing Len tightly before sagging, unconscious.</p><p>Len sighed, lifting Cisco and dragging him to his bed and turning him on his side so he wouldn’t choke on his own vomit in the morning. He glanced around, snagging a water bottle from the fridge and painkillers from the cabinet before placing them on the nightstand and leaving.</p><p> </p><p>Len waived off his sister as he stepped through the door, opting to pour himself a glass of whiskey and try to forget the night. Forget the ache in his heart as he realized this wasn’t permanent, and ignore the tingle of his lips from where Cisco had kissed him.</p><p> </p><p>Sleeping in till noon had its advantages, but one of the annoying disadvantages was everyone else who didn’t get the memo you were trying to sleep till noon.</p><p>Rolling over he glared at his phone which had been going off with texts for the last 5 minutes.</p><p>Sassy Snack:</p><p>God my head hurts</p><p>How the fuck did I get home last night?</p><p>My phone says I called you. I don’t remember that.</p><p>Did we have sex?</p><p>Where’s my car? And my jeans.</p><p>Nope, found my jeans. I think I just kicked them off.</p><p>Dude never mix tequila and rum. Not a good combo. Not a good anything.</p><p>Again: Where is my car??</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. <br/>To the question of: does Cisco have a thing for Barry? No. I'm trying to write what happened between seasons 1 and 2 where Barry was shutting everyone out, and seeing as Cisco considers himself Barry's best friend, I'd imagine he'd be pretty upset by that, so I tried to dive into that. (This is just my opinion, other people can read it how they like, but I'm not trying to write it like that)  <br/>This chapter was fighting me, so hopefully I'll be a bit more regular about posting!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been nearly a week since Cisco had last seen Len. Granted, during that week they’d had to deal with a new meta from Earth 2, the introduction of this new Jay Garrick character, and the fact that some new Speedster named Zoom was after Barry. But at least Barry was back to talking to them again. He’d really missed his best friend.</p><p>So why was he still craving Len so badly? And why was the man suddenly ignoring his messages?</p><p>There was something he was missing here. Something had happened when he was drunk, that Len wasn’t telling him. So when they finally had a day with no disasters, he stepped out early and decided it was finally time to address this.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to talk.” Did Cisco feel bad about storming into Len’s safe house? A little bit. But in all fairness, he had no guarantee that Len would actually be there.</p><p>“Cisco, what a surprise.” He was there, simple black sweater and jeans, studying pictures for what Cisco was certain was his next heist.</p><p>Cisco scowled at Len’s nonchalant tone, storming forward. “What’s going on with you recently?”</p><p>“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”</p><p>“Oh don’t play dumb,” Cisco scoffed. “It doesn’t suit you. You’re just as smart as anyone on my team and we both know it.”</p><p>“You mean how I haven’t been responding to your texts? I have a life you know.”</p><p>“Yeah, your heists haven’t stopped you from responding before.”</p><p>Len finally turned, dropping the pictures onto the table. “Why are you here?”</p><p>“Because I need to know!”  </p><p>“And what do you need to know so badly?”</p><p>“Why have you been avoiding me?!”</p><p>“Because you said you hate me!”</p><p>Cisco was silent for a moment, processing, and Len turned back to the table.  Had he really said that? Why would he-well. Why wouldn’t he? How couldn’t he? “Is that really a surprise to you?”</p><p>Len looked up sharply. “What.”</p><p>“You kidnapped Caitlin, me, my brother, you <em>tortured </em>my brother. Did you think I wouldn’t hate you for that?”</p><p>“So that’s all there is then? Didn’t think you were the type to sleep with someone you hate.”</p><p>Cisco bristled. “Don’t think you know anything about me, all we did was sleep together. No strings attached, no emotions. You’re the one who kept trying to get me to come back.”</p><p>“I know more about you than your friends do. I know you barely sleep most nights, up at random hours, kept awake by nightmares. I know someone close to you betrayed you, and you nearly died. I know you keep up a façade of control but deep down you love giving away that control. I know that getting tied up thrills you. I know you’ve spent your whole life being told to blend in, and I know you can’t wait to break free of that cage you’ve been keeping yourself in because it’s what they want you to do. These friends of yours might know the you that you’ve let them see, but I’ve seen the you that you don’t want people to know. I know how much darkness there is in you.”</p><p>How had Len figured out so much? God he needed to learn to keep his mouth shut. “You know that much huh? Then how can it be any surprise that my loyalty is to my team, the same team you’ve betrayed. How can I do anything <em>but </em>hate you??”</p><p>Cisco stopped talking suddenly as Len backed him against the wall, arm resting above Cisco’s head. “Tell me to go, Cisco. Tell me to leave your life. You know I’ll listen.” Cisco sucked in a breath, winded after his rant, but said nothing. “See, that’s the thing. You say you hate me, but you can’t bring yourself to let go of this. Of us. You can’t accept that you’re starting to fall for me.”</p><p>Cisco glared, smacking Len’s arm away from him. “I’ve said since this started that it was temporary. Sorry if you got attached.”</p><p>“I’m not the only one attached here, and you know it.”</p><p>“Don’t presume to know what goes on in my head just because you know my body! Unlike you I’m actually capable of separating the two!”</p><p> “Are you? Every nightmare, every time your friend abandons you, you keep running back here. You can’t keep yourself away. You’re addicted to this and you can’t stand that about yourself! You say you hate me when really you hate yourself for how you feel about me.” Len stepped back, turning back to the table. “At least I have the balls to admit how I feel.”</p><p>“How you- how you <em>feel?! </em>Don’t tell me you have feelings. Don’t go that far.”</p><p>Len sighed, turning back to face Cisco and leaning against the table. “If this is all it is then fine. Leave. I’m not stopping you.” Cisco stared, shaking, unable to bring himself to say another word. “The door’s behind you. It always has been. Because you can’t accept this. You can’t accept what could be if you let yourself actually have what you want. You’re still pretending to yourself that you’re a ‘do-gooder’. That every act of passion is just another fight to be won. Because if you actually told yourself the truth, you’re scared you wouldn’t recognize the person you saw.”</p><p>Cisco glared, but couldn’t say anything in response. After a moment he turned, and left.</p><p> </p><p>He managed to distract himself successfully from the entire situation for 2 weeks. 2 weeks of tinkering away, working on ideas to defeat this new Zoom character, examining old contraptions to defeat Dr. Wells and trying to adapt them to this. 2 weeks spent pushing aside thoughts of Len, and his accusations that Cisco had been starting to feel something for him, and the thought of what might have been. 2 weeks waking up from each nightmare and forcing himself to find some solution to the problem they were facing now, and not reaching for his phone to call Len.</p><p>2 weeks of avoiding thinking about Snart until Lisa walked up in Jitters, destroying any chances of forgetting about Snart because she was asking for the Flash’s help. Len had been kidnapped.</p><p> </p><p>Cisco was the one who went to find him after they found out about Len being forced to work with his father. He argued that Barry had already been to Saint’s and Sinners to seek out Cold, if he did it again he might get a reputation. And, as he worked directly for the police, that wasn’t the kind of reputation he should have.</p><p>Him, on the other hand, well. He didn’t mention that he already knew exactly which seat Len liked. Or that he knew what time Len was likely to be there.</p><p>Len barely glanced up as Cisco sat in the seat across from him. “Of course they sent you. Tell me, how’s our friend in red doing?”</p><p>“He’ll be fine, still recovering, but. I know how to make my tech. And how to keep my friends alive.” Len hmmmd, focusing on the fries in front of him. “Why are you working with Lewis? I know you hate him.”</p><p>“As much as you hate me?” Cisco had to swallow that one. As much as he hated it, he’d said it. “Things are… complicated with family. Something I’m sure you’re familiar with.”</p><p>Something about that stood out with Cisco. Something Len had said when he’d abducted Cisco. <em>I know I’d do everything in my power to protect my family. </em>“Lisa’s with us. He’s not getting to her.”</p><p>“You seem to think you have me all figured out. Know how I tick. You really so sure about that kid?”</p><p>This was Cold. This was him, back in his persona. But there was something else there.</p><p>Cisco sat back, realization hitting him. If Lewis had already done something to Lisa…</p><p>Cold stood up, putting a few bills on the table. “Stay out of my way kid, I’m not the one you’re after.”</p><p>Cisco knew what had to be done. Standing up, he left the bar, pulling out his phone to message Barry, completely unaware that he was being watched.</p><p> </p><p>After everything had gone down, Lewis was dead, and Len was in prison, Cisco thought back to that conversation in the bar. He’d seemed so removed. So detached from feeling anything. How much of that was at the risk that he was being followed? How much was him trying to protect Cisco?</p><p>No, he was just reading into it.</p><p>He was jolted out of his thoughts by an arm draping across his neck. “Where are you going handsome?”</p><p>He looked up to see Lisa walking down the street with him, coffee in her other hand. She must have seen him at Jitters and decided to follow. “I’m glad to see you’re back to your normal self. Not going to kiss me again are you?”</p><p>“No, I don’t go after my brother’s boyfriends. Unless it’s to scare them.” She winked, sliding her arm off his neck.</p><p>Cisco stared. “You <em>knew??</em>”</p><p>“He never told me, if that’s what you’re worried about. But Lenny’s never been that good at keeping secrets. Once I realized he was seeing someone, it didn’t take me long to figure out who. I never told him I knew though. He thought he was doing such a good job keeping it hidden. I couldn’t spoil it for him. Not yet.” She was quiet for a moment before adding: “I also know you two broke up recently.”</p><p>“We weren’t together enough to be broken up.”</p><p>“Maybe not. But I know he cared.” They stopped walking when they got to Lisa’s bike. “Listen, Cisco… I know you see him as this bad guy. And neither of us have done much to change your mind of that. But you saw what we’ve lived through. What shaped us. I’m not trying to tell you we aren’t criminals. We are, and we’re damn good at it.” Cisco had to chuckle at that, and Lisa smiled sadly. “I’m saying don’t assume that just because we’re criminals meant what he felt wasn’t real. Lenny’s bad with his emotions. But what he felt for you, he wasn’t faking it. He genuinely cares. As sickening as it was, I could see how much you meant to him.”</p><p>“Why are we talking like he’s dead?”</p><p>“I know it’ll be a while until you see each other again, what with prison and all. But just think about it.” She hugged him, then got on her bike, winking again before riding off.</p><p>She was wrong though. It was just sex. That’s all it had been. It had to have been.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>......I'm so sorry. We'll get through the angst soon, and this will have a happy ending, I promise! But we've got some more angst to go first.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cisco starts to realize his feelings for Len.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ooof, writing this chapter was like pulling nails, it did not want to be written! </p><p>This DOES have explicit rape, if that's a trigger for you, PLEASE BE SAFE!! If it's a trigger, just stop reading when Cisco goes to the bar. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be safe! Know your own limits!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The visions- no, his <em>powers,</em> were getting worse. Appearing randomly, no triggers, no way to make them stop, nothing to do but wait them out and hope he didn’t get a vibe in the middle of a conversation.</p><p>He’d wake up to visions of Len, and his childhood. Caitlin and her mother. Barry’s absences over the summer. Anything and everything that happened to those around him, he could see, day and night.</p><p>He hated it.</p><p>And what with this new Harrison Wells showing up, he couldn’t get a moment’s peace to think.</p><p>At the moment he was trying to work on something to take down Dr. Light, and Harry was trying to make awkward conversation.</p><p>“And what have you been doing since this ‘other Wells’ disappeared?”</p><p>Cisco backed up, trying to focus on the project at hand, but his mind was reeling.</p><p>No. Oh, oh no. If anyone could figure out his affiliation with Cold it would be Harrison Wells.</p><p>Then of course, Harry had to tell them about his powers.</p><p>He should be grateful. Maybe. He’d never have gotten around to it on his own. But it was still a dick move on Harry’s part.</p><p>Len would never have told the others about his powers.</p><p>Okay, hold up, no, that was not a mental comparison he needed. No way. Nope. Not going there.</p><p>It was just because he missed Len.</p><p>Two weeks since Len went to prison, and Cisco finally admitted to himself that he missed him. In the waking moments before he got up. Through the day, as he worked on his tech. In the evening, as Cisco felt along his body, remembering every kiss and touch. He missed Len.</p><p>And he had never even told anyone about them.</p><p>He thought it would be easier to tell them about him and Len after they knew about his powers, but he found he was even more reluctant to tell them now. Now he’d have even more to explain, and with the constant memories of Len seeping into his vibes, he couldn’t handle that. He couldn’t handle any of it.</p><p> </p><p>Coming to Saints and Sinners again had been a bad idea. Every seat, every booth, every table, reminded him of Len. He could practically feel the vibes threatening to pull him under, so he stuffed his hands in his jacket and made his way to the bar.</p><p>It had been 4 days since Zoom broke Barry’s back, and Cisco couldn’t take it anymore. Everything reminded him of Len. He couldn’t stop wanting to be held in Len’s arms again. To listen to nerdy pickup lines, and make out like teenagers again. This bar was probably the last place he should be to ignore those feelings, but he felt like wallowing in self-pity.</p><p>He ordered a drink from the bartender, and stared into it for a solid minute before finally drinking it.</p><p>“Hey there cutie, how’s your day going?” Someone had slid into the seat next to him.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m not really in the chatting mood.” He downed the rest of his drink to make the point.</p><p>“That bad a day, huh? Want to talk about it?”</p><p>Cisco shook his head. “No offense, but I kind of just want to be left alone.”</p><p>“Silent type, I can respect that.” Cisco rolled his eyes. Clearly, this guy couldn’t. “My name’s Floyd by the way. And you are?”</p><p>Cisco stood up, setting down the money for his drink. “I’ve really got to go, sorry, but I can’t-”</p><p>“Now hold on a moment,” Floyd placed his hand on Cisco’s arm, and it was too much. The world dissolved once again into shades of blue around them. He was used to getting triggers of vibes from other people. What he wasn’t used to was seeing <em>himself </em>in those vibes. He was sitting in the seat across from Len, the last time Cisco had seen him. When Lewis was still alive.</p><p>Cisco looked around the room in his vibe, trying to find where Floyd had been that night, and what was so important that his vision had pulled him back to this night.</p><p>Cisco found him, of course. Staring intently from the back corner. But what was he staring at?</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>
  <em>Him. </em>
</p><p>Cisco came back to himself as he was being dragged out the back door. “What-” he tripped as the floor shifted from the tile of the bar to the concrete of the back alley.</p><p>“You alright cutie? You seem a little disoriented. Maybe had a bit too much to drink?”</p><p>Cisco grabbed for the wall, turning himself around even as the back door slid shut. “You’ve been watching me??”</p><p>A quick punch to the gut and he was on the ground again, coughing as he fought to get air back in his lungs. “Now don’t say it like that cutie,” Floyd grabbed Cisco’s shoulder, pulling him up. “You’re worth watching after all. And now that Cold character’s not in the way.”</p><p>Before Cisco could get out a word, Floyd’s lips were against his. Cisco shoved against Floyd, barely pushing him off before another punch to the gut had him gasping for air, allowing lips to press against his again, as a tongue slid inside.</p><p>Cisco bit down, hard, before responding with a punch of his own. Floyd fell away and Cisco wiped the blood from his mouth, glancing from where Floyd blocked his exit from the alley to the closed door of the bar.</p><p>He bolted for the door but a hand around his arm yanked him back, throwing him against the wall. His head slammed into the bricks and he fell back, dazed.</p><p>Fingers curled around his shirt, pulling it up. He wanted to cry out, scream, <em>something, </em>but the words wouldn’t come. His muscles refused to cooperate. The man above him chuckled to himself, fingers tracing up Cisco’s stomach, caressing his skin. Cisco almost threw up.</p><p>“Let me go,” he managed to get out, words slurring together. What was happening? Why couldn’t he move? Had he hit his head so hard he had a concussion now?</p><p>“About time it took effect. I was starting to wonder if you were immune or something. Now just lie there and enjoy the ride, you don’t have much of another option.” He must have been drugged. That had to be it. Somehow, Floyd must have spiked his drink.</p><p>He closed his eyes as his clothes were removed, trying to focus on channeling his powers, moving his muscles, <em>something </em>to stop this from happening.</p><p>As Floyd unzipped his jeans, tugging them down Cisco was able to move his hand, weakly trying to push Floyd off.</p><p>“Now now, you shouldn’t be moving, that’s not how this works.” Floyd’s hand grabbed Cisco’s wrist, pushing it down into the concrete.</p><p>He could barely scream as Floyd began pushing in, tears tracing down his face as he tried and failed to push him off. “Get out, stop, please stop!”</p><p>Floyd placed his other hand around Cisco’s throat as he bottomed out. “Beg me again sweetheart. Your voice is just as sweet as an angel.” He squeezed his hands tighter as he thrust in again. “Beg me.”</p><p>Cisco closed his eyes, trying to distract himself from what was happening. “Please,” he pleaded one last time. “Just, let me go. Please let me go.”</p><p>Floyd groaned again, thrusting again and again till he spilled inside Cisco. He pulled out then, patting Cisco on the head. “Thanks for the fuck sweet thing. Come back around if you want a round two.”</p><p>When Cisco finally regained movement, Floyd was long gone. Cisco hastily pulled his jeans back up, stumbling his way out of the alley, barely making it inside his car before he broke down sobbing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I SWEAR it will get better for Cisco, and I have the rest of this finished! So it'll be posted soon! <br/>And if you're like me and read things and realize too late that they're triggering, please take care of yourself, drink some water, listen to something calming, I don't know. Just please stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>And now the fallout of everything.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, I wasn't gonna post it this early in the morning, but my new downstairs neighbor was so loud he woke me up and now I'm coasting on the anxiety of talking to a human being so I figured, eh, it's a new day, have a new chapter! <br/>(why are human beings so scary?? I'm making tea to calm my anxiety and try to get back to sleep.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He called off work for the week. Faked a stomach bug, put his phone on vibrate, and curled up in bed. He wasn’t sure how many times he threw up. The locks on his door weren’t enough anymore, so he ordered more locks off of the internet. It wouldn’t be enough though. Couldn’t be. Nothing would be enough.</p><p>He showered till the water ran cold, scrubbing at his skin as if it could somehow erase what had happened.</p><p>The rest of the week he didn’t sleep. He couldn’t, his powers on a hairpin trigger, sending him into visions of pain and violation at every noise.</p><p>The vibes wouldn’t stop, keeping him disoriented to the point where he barely felt safe enough to install the new locks on his door when they came.</p><p>The second they were installed he closed and locked the door, running to the bathroom and throwing up again. It wasn’t safe. It wasn’t safe to keep his door open, even just to install locks. He couldn’t protect himself. Floyd would come back, and he would be powerless to stop him again.</p><p>A knock sounded from his door and he threw up again, terror clenching his stomach in an iron grip.</p><p>The knock sounded again, and then his phone started to vibrate.</p><p>He grabbed his phone, quickly checking the caller ID.</p><p>Caitlin.</p><p>He answered, trying to breathe through the panic. “Caitlin?”</p><p>“Hey Cisco, I’m here at your apartment, I brought you some chicken noodle soup since you’re not feeling well.”</p><p>It was Caitlin. It was Caitlin knocking on his door, not Floyd. Not some phantom force about to rape him again.</p><p>He cleared his throat. “Um, yeah, just… just give me a moment.” He hung up, rinsing out his mouth before he opened the door.</p><p>Caitlin was standing there, paper bag in hand. “Can I come in?” Cisco nodded, moving out of the way. As Caitlin walked in, he closed the door, locking it into place. “Getting a bit paranoid?”</p><p>“With… With Zoom and all, I just figured…”</p><p>Caitlin nodded, though she didn’t seem convinced. “I brought soup, some Kleenex, a few cough drops, and some crackers.” She set the items on the counter, turning to look at Cisco. “Is there anything else I can do for you? Do you need anything else?”</p><p>He could feel himself tearing up, so he shook his head. “No, I…I’ll be alright…” Tears were starting to stream down his face now, and Caitlin quickly wrapped him in a hug.</p><p>He clung to her, trying to let go of the fear. After a minute, he realized he couldn’t keep this to himself anymore. “Caitlin… I need to tell you something.”</p><p> </p><p>It was harder than he thought it would be, getting the words out, but Caitlin just held him through it, gently running her hands through his hair. He told her about going to the bar. About how he’d started hooking up with Cold, and how he’d been in denial about him since he’d started to realize he might have feelings. About their fight. About how he went back to the bar to try and make sense of the feelings, only to be raped by Floyd.</p><p>“Do you… do you need me to do a rape kit?”</p><p>Cisco shook his head. “It was too long ago. There’s nothing left. It’s not like it would make a difference anyway. He’s probably a criminal with several charges already. One more charge wouldn’t make a difference.” He was silent for a moment, stepping back and sitting down. “I hate it, but I wish Len were here.”</p><p>“It seems like you really miss him.”</p><p>“Why though? Why do I miss him? Because I was raped, I’m suddenly supposed to realize what a ‘nice guy’ Len really was and jump back into his arms? Because he always asked for consent? Because he flirts by stealing things he knows I don’t need and gives them back the second I ask him to? Because he’s secretly nerdy and passionate and actually cares about his family? Because he’s incredible and actually knows what he wants from life and respects the fact that we’ve got differences?” Caitlin was quiet through his entire rant, letting him vent. “…I’m pretty hung up on him aren’t I.”</p><p>“I mean. Realizing he’s not as bad as the man that raped you, that’s not a reason to get back together. The rest of it though? Sounds like you’ve got feelings for him.”</p><p>Cisco groaned, dropping his head onto the table. “I know! He even told me that and I didn’t believe him!”</p><p>Caitlin placed a hand on Cisco’s arm. “Do yourself a favor. Tell him when you next see him. I won’t say I can completely approve, but if he makes you happy, I’ll support you.”</p><p>Cisco nodded. “You’re right. I need to apologize, and put everything in the past. I was a dick, and I need to make up for it.”</p><p>“You were a dick. But it makes sense, he was too. Just, try to work things out, alright?”</p><p>Cisco nodded. It was something else to focus on, if nothing else. It wasn’t like he’d be seeing Len any time soon.</p><p> </p><p>Len was out of prison. Two weeks later, Len was out, having been broken out by the Trickster and Mark Mardon. Because of course.</p><p>That’s not to say Cisco wasn’t glad he was out. He was thrilled. It was just… now he had to confront what had happened between them. Maybe Len would wait for him to make the first move?</p><p>“I see you’ve increased your security. Were you trying to keep me out?” Cisco had to pause for a moment to remind himself that it was just Len. Unfortunately, Len noticed. “Are you alright? I saw that Zoom went after Barry. Has he been coming after you too?”</p><p>Cisco shook his head, moving towards where Len was seated on the couch. “No, just a security precaution. I’ve got to say, I wasn’t expecting you to be out so soon.”</p><p>“Neither was I, but apparently Mardon considered it repaying his debt to me. I can’t really complain.”</p><p>Cisco nodded, perching awkwardly on the arm of the other side of the couch. “I guess that makes sense.” He was silent for a moment, aware of Len’s eyes on him. “I… I owe you an apology.”</p><p>“You don’t need to apologize.” Cisco looked up. Len was meeting his eyes, but the look was… sad. Distant. “I was out of line. You said it was temporary, I’m the one that didn’t believe you. That was my mistake.”</p><p>Fuck, that’s not where this conversation was supposed to go. “No, you’re not wrong, or at least, you weren’t wrong then. I- I want this. I want you.”</p><p>Len reached over, gently cupping Cisco’s face with his hand. “I want you too.”</p><p>Cisco surged forward, capturing Len’s lips and wrapping his arms around Len. Nerves flying high, he straddled Len’s lap, pulling Len closer.</p><p>Len chuckled as they broke apart, lifting Cisco by the thighs as he stood up, discarding his parka on the couch. Cisco gasped, clinging tighter to Len’s shoulders.</p><p>Tongues mixed and Cisco moaned into the kiss. He pulled back, head rushing with the feelings, trying to keep his nerves in check.</p><p>Then Len pushed him onto the bed, climbing on top. His hands holding Cisco’s wrists to the bed as he continued to kiss along his neck and-</p><p>
  <em>Hands holding him down by his neck, he tried to scream but the hand just tightened, pain coursing through him as the man fucked into him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“S-stop” he gasped out, but the words didn’t do anything. “Stop, leave me alone, stop!” </em>
</p><p>“Stop!” The hands were off now, Len having rolled off him. Cisco shuddered, sitting up, trying to process what had happened. That hadn’t been a vibe, but it had still felt so real…</p><p>He realized too late that Len was staring at him, only reacting when Len stood up, picking his parka up off the floor.</p><p>“Wai-”</p><p>“Take care kid,” Len muttered, and he was gone, locking the door behind him.</p><p>Cisco stared at his hand. When had he reached it out towards Len? He fell backwards onto the bed, shaking as the memories of Floyd overcame him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Almost there! I've got the last chapter finished, so sometime tomorrow it should be up! <br/>These two idiots are trying. Just. Badly.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What you've all been waiting for.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, I rewrote this 5 times, so I hope you all enjoy it, thank you so much for sticking through till the end! Your comments have all been so inspiring, and I'm glad you've enjoyed this!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Did he know he was overthinking? Yes. Most definitely. But that didn’t STOP him from overthinking.</p><p>He steadied his breath, trying to calm his nerves as he walked through the door, Len’s distinctive parka already visible at the bar.</p><p>He needed to say this. He needed to explain himself, and try and get Len to understand. Even if everything ended this night, Len deserved an explanation.</p><p>He stumbled as someone backed into his path, hands catching him before he could fall. He automatically flinched back, steadying himself as he tried to calm his heart rate. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t…” Any attempts at calming down went out the window as he saw who he’d bumped into.</p><p>“Why hello again cutie,” Floyd grinned down at him.</p><p>This couldn’t be happening.</p><p>“…let me go.” Cisco wished his voice didn’t crack halfway through, wished he could stand without shaking, but he was able to get words out so that would have to do.</p><p>“Now don’t be like that, we had so much fun before,”</p><p>Floyd’s hand wrapped around Cisco’s wrist, and suddenly he couldn’t move. How was this even happening? He hadn’t had anything to drink-</p><p>Then Cisco saw the black veins running along the inside of his wrist from where Floyd was touching him.</p><p>“See, I’ve been practicing since last time. Don’t know why it takes you so long to react, but I’ve gotten faster. So. How about we get out of here and pick up where we left off?”</p><p>He couldn’t speak, words trapped in a mouth that wouldn’t open. Floyd was starting to drag him off somewhere, and Len was so close, <em>so close, </em>but he didn’t know Cisco was even there, and this <em>couldn’t</em> be happening again, but all his muscles had frozen up, putty in Floyd’s hands. As he was pulled off towards something he couldn’t even turn his head to look at, all he could do was hope someone would stop him this time. Somehow. <em>Please. </em></p><p>Someone bumped into him.</p><p>It was enough to dislodge him from Floyd’s grasp, and without the use of his muscles he crashed to the floor, shoulder taking the brunt of the fall.</p><p>“Hey, watch where you’re going!” Floyd complained.</p><p>“You want to try that again, punk?” Cisco’s pulse accelerated. He knew that voice. Had felt the sting of that punch for weeks after Cold kidnapped him.</p><p>Mick!</p><p>Cisco still couldn’t move or talk, but he could hear people starting to gather. If Mick could just chase the man off, then Cisco wouldn’t have to go through that again. Sure, he might get beat up by Mick because of his relations with Len, but he could handle that.</p><p>All Cisco could see were the bottom of Mick’s shoes and the floor, but the stance told him that Mick was glowering at Floyd.</p><p>“Listen, the kid’s just drunk, I’ll take him home, no harm no foul, alright?”</p><p>Mick ‘hmphed’ at that. “Drunk when he hasn’t touched a drop since walking in? That’s odd.”</p><p>“What can I say? My friend’s an alcoholic. Doesn’t know when to quit.”</p><p>Cisco flinched as a thud sounded, but when he opened his eyes again Mick was still standing.</p><p>“Anyone have a problem with me decking this asshole?” Cisco didn’t need the telltale whirling of the Cold gun to know it was Len. He tried to open his mouth to speak, but all that came out was slurred gibberish.</p><p>Mick’s shoes turned, and he was pretty sure he had the attention of the whole bar now. Great. He couldn’t even say what he needed to.</p><p>A hand tugged on his arm and he flinched again, but it was just Len, hauling him up off the floor. “Mick, take that scumbag out back, will you? I’ll see to our friend here.”</p><p> </p><p>Len helped Cisco back to his feet, guiding him away from the main room and into a small back room. “So what did he do to you, eh?” Len gently lowered Cisco onto a couch, checking his pulse. “I can’t even tell if you can hear me or not. Did he drug you?” He wasn’t getting a response, so he stepped out of the room, locking the door and making sure to keep the door in his line of sight as he talked to the owner, making sure any records from that night would be erased.</p><p>He texted Mick to make sure he hadn’t had any problems, and grabbed a glass of water for Cisco.</p><p>By the time he got back to the room, Cisco was starting to sit up, grasping his phone in his hand as his knee bounced, trying to dispel the tension. Refusing to meet Len’s eyes.</p><p>“You really know how to make an entrance.” Len handed Cisco the glass. “How exactly did you get caught up with Floyd?”</p><p>Cisco just shook his head. Or at least, it seemed he was shaking his head. It was hard to differentiate that from the all-out tremors coursing through him at irregular intervals.</p><p>Leaning against the door, Len tried to gage what was happening in Cisco’s head. He was panicking, that much was obvious. But how much was he panicking because of Floyd, and how much because of him? “He seemed to know you. Which I have to say, is less than advisable.”</p><p>“You… you knew what he was capable of?” Cisco met his eyes, but he was still shaking.</p><p>“So you do know him.” No response. “To answer your question, I know what most of the men who enter this building are capable of. But until I hear what they’ve actually done, I don't get involved.” Cisco still wasn’t responding. He hadn’t seen him this frozen since he’d threatened his brother. This wasn’t good. “Give me your phone, I’m calling Barry to pick you up.”</p><p>That got Cisco’s attention. He jolted, pulling his phone closer to his chest as he shook his head. “No, you can’t, he can’t know about this!”</p><p>“You just got attacked, someone’s got to keep an eye on you.”</p><p>“…Sorry to cause you so much bother then. I’ll just… get going.” Cisco staggered to his feet, setting down the glass of water, but Len held up his hand.</p><p>It was a moment before Len said anything. “What did he do to you?”</p><p>Cisco looked at the floor. “You don’t know?”</p><p>“I have my suspicions. But I need to hear you say it.” Even if Cisco didn’t confirm what he already suspected, he had other ways of finding out. But if he could find out now, then he could have this entire situation wrapped up by the end of the night.</p><p>“Hear me say what? That I’m pathetic?”</p><p>That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. “Cisco?”</p><p>“That when you were in prison, I couldn’t handle things so I tried to come here to forget, and my own damn powers got me stuck? That I didn’t even notice he was a meta and could control me, and just assumed he’d drugged me? Or that I couldn’t make him stop when I said it? That I’m a complete waste of space that doesn’t deserve-mmph!”</p><p>Lips pressed together before Len was even aware of what he was doing, just needing Cisco to stop talking. Cisco pulled back and slapped Len, hard. But at least he’d stopped saying those things.</p><p>“You’re not weak. You know what you want and you make it clear.” Len stared at Cisco, who just looked lost, tear tracks drying on his face. “You’re not a waste of space. You’re clever and loyal. You’re unbelievably attractive and borderline addictive. Maybe you didn’t know he was a meta, I didn’t till just now either. But don’t you <em>ever </em>think that it was your fault that he raped you. Don’t you <em>ever </em>put yourself down like that.”</p><p>Cisco’s breathing grew more ragged, and he tightened the grip on his phone before dropping it and lunging for Len. He barely had time to react as Cisco’s arms wrapped around his chest as he cried into his shoulder. Len wrapped his arms around Cisco, holding him close and rubbing small circles into his back.</p><p>This was worse than he’d anticipated. He knew Mick wouldn’t let Floyd go till Len was there himself, but he couldn’t let Cisco be alone right now.</p><p>Still rubbing Cisco’s back with one hand, he pulled out his phone and texted Mick with the other.</p><p>
  <strong>Cold: </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Make him suffer, but don’t kill him just yet. I need a chance to make him pay. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Flame: </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Take care of the kid. I’ve got my entertainment right here.</strong>
</p><p>Cisco had stopped sobbing as hard, breath starting to even out, but tension appearing in the lines of his back.</p><p>“Cisco?”</p><p>“You’re… you’re not mad?”</p><p>Ah. “I’m furious. But I know how to control my emotions until I need them.” Cisco started to pull back, and Len realized his mistake. “I’m not mad at you though,” Cisco stilled. “Cisco… why would you think I’d be mad at you?”</p><p>“Because I said I hate you. Because I couldn’t stop him. Because I’m weak, because I didn’t tell you about it when you stopped by the other night.”</p><p>“Cisco, <em>no. </em>You don’t owe me explanations. If I’d known what had happened I could have avoided hurting you further, but that’s no reason for me to be angry at you!”</p><p>“Still, I owe you an apology.”</p><p>“Cisco, you don’t owe me anything-”</p><p>“Just let me say this, please!” Cisco took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Everything was making his nerves and nausea worse, but he needed to get this out. “I’m sorry I said I hated you. I couldn’t accept that I’d fallen for you, and I kept seeing what you’d done, not the person you were becoming. Honestly… I don’t know when I stopped being angry with you. That first night, the following weeks,” Cisco shook his head. “It’s unimportant. Just… I shouldn’t have said what I did. I hurt you because I couldn’t stand me. You were right.”</p><p>Len gently pulled back, lifting Cisco’s chin. “…This is the way you make things right isn’t it? It’s important to you to say things?” Cisco nodded. “…I’ve always believed actions spoke louder than words. But you need those words.” Gently, allowing Cisco to pull away if he wanted, Len leaned forward, kissing Cisco. He pulled back, staring into Cisco’s eyes. “I love you, Cisco. I don’t know when it started, but I’m completely in love with you. If you want out, just tell me. I’ll respect it. But-”</p><p>“I love you too.” Len stared, as if he couldn’t believe Cisco had just said it. After a moment, Cisco smiled. “I love you too, Len. And I’m not going anywhere. I can’t live without you.”</p><p>Cisco gently cupped Len’s face, pressing their lips together again. Instead of rough passion it was gentle, and warm. Sharing an emotion instead of consuming it. Len brought his hand up to Cisco’s hair, carding his hand through it, only for Cisco to tense.</p><p>Immediately Len pulled back. “Cisco?”</p><p>Cisco nodded. “I’m alright. I’m here, just… maybe be a little gentle?”</p><p>Fuck, Len had gotten so caught up in confessing his love like a teenager that he’d forgotten Cisco was still coping. “What are your triggers?”</p><p>Cisco blinked at him. “Triggers?”</p><p>“…what sets off the anxiety? I’m assuming you get panic attacks?” Cisco was just staring at him blankly. “Cisco, do you have any idea what reminds you of what happened? What sends your mind back?”</p><p>“Um… everything?”</p><p>Alright. Different approach. “What should I avoid? I’m guessing you started having a flashback the other night?” Cisco started shaking again, and Len quickly moved them to sit down. “Hey, just breathe, alright? No one can hurt you. I won’t let them.”</p><p>Cisco nodded, trying to get his breathing under control as he continued to shake. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m trying,”</p><p>“Shhh, don’t worry about talking, just breathe. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>Cisco clung to Len, fingers digging into Len’s parka. “Promise?”</p><p>Len nodded. “I promise. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”</p><p> </p><p>Three weeks later, when Floyd’s body turned up on the banks of the river, no one found any evidence of how he’d died. Was he covered head to toe in burns and frostbite? Yes. Was that connected to the leader of the Rogues? Definitely not. And did Cisco sleep better that night in the arms of Len than he had in over 6 months?</p><p>Yes he did.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much everyone! See you in another fic!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*Hides in a bush* I hope you liked it!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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